


well i'm just sitting here loving you

by cardaisy



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes (1984 TV), Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Episode: s04e01 The Devil's Foot, M/M, Story: The Adventure of the Devil's Foot, brief hand holding, clandestine conversations on carriages, idk how to tag fic, implicit declarations of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardaisy/pseuds/cardaisy
Summary: “I have never loved, but if I did, and if the woman I had loved had met with such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done. Wouldn’t you?”“Yes, I suppose so.”--As we returned from our trip to Cornwall, I couldn’t help but ponder upon what Holmes had said to me earlier when I questioned his judgement on this, as well as on the Abbey Grange case. It was so seldom that we spoke of love and similar matters, and I simply couldn’t get it out of my head. He had indeed sounded so thoughtful and emotional for a moment, that I was nearly thrown off, and as I sat next to him now, travelling back to our Baker Street flat, I desperately wanted to bring it up again. I’ll admit it was for entirely self-indulgent reasons. A part of me had been, as of late, dancing around an idea that I hadn’t yet allowed myself to fully entertain, and as we spoke of love and devotion, I couldn’t help but step closer to it.Holmes and Watson have a discussion about love.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	well i'm just sitting here loving you

**Author's Note:**

> i watched the devil's foot and then promptly blacked out and wrote 1000 words about them being kinda soft, that's really all i have to say for myself. i've literally never written fic before so be nice? 
> 
> i suppose if you'd like you can follow me on [tumblr](https://plasticonobandana.tumblr.com/)

“I have never loved, but if I did, and if the woman I had loved had met with such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done. Wouldn’t you?” 

"Yes, I suppose so."

\--

As we returned from our trip to Cornwall, I couldn’t help but ponder upon what Holmes had said to me earlier when I questioned his judgement on this, as well as on the Abbey Grange case. It was so seldom that we spoke of love and similar matters, and I simply couldn’t get it out of my head. He had indeed sounded so thoughtful and emotional for a moment, that I was nearly thrown off, and as I sat next to him now, travelling back to our Baker Street flat, I desperately wanted to bring it up again. I’ll admit it was for entirely self-indulgent reasons. A part of me had been, as of late, dancing around an idea that I hadn’t yet allowed myself to fully entertain, and as we spoke of love and devotion, I couldn’t help but step closer to it. 

Upon catching me staring at him for perhaps a moment too long, Holmes raised an eyebrow and pointedly said, “Well what is it, Watson? You seem to have something on your mind.”

I stared at him a moment longer before deciding to take the plunge, I suppose it may have been a moment of selfishness, but if I had not brought it up then, I do not think I would’ve had another opportunity. “It’s simply… I’m thinking of our conversation earlier. On love, and how one might justify even the cruelest of actions.” 

He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to figure out some mystery that I had presented him, then, “You _don’t_ agree with me then?” 

“Well, to be honest with you my dear fellow, I’m not sure what to think.”

“You believe then, that I have made the wrong decision? That it was egregious of me to not hand over the man to the police?” Holmes paused. “Or, do you simply not think that any man in love would not do the same as him?” There was an undercurrent to his voice that I could not quite place, and as he looked at me, there was an edge underneath it, a sort of challenge that I did not know how to interpret. 

The truth was that what I was trying to gently prod at was not the overt topic of our previous conversation. I ventured cautiously, trying not to show my hand to perhaps the one man most likely to see through my bluff nonetheless. “Well, I like to think I’ve experienced my own share of love, and I also like to think that you know me well enough to know that I would go to great lengths for someone I loved.” I could not look at him as I said this, and hoped he would not notice. “But-” He nodded his head slightly, as if urging me to continue. “But, I suppose, despite your insistence, it sounds to me that perhaps you speak from personal experience when it comes to these matters.”

As I spoke the words he sharply turned his head away from me, and pulled that wretched blanket tighter around his shoulders. I quickly tried to recover from what I could only assume was a fumble on my part, trying not to let the conversation float away with the countryside scenery. “What I mean to say is, that as, I hope, your trusted friend, you know that you can speak to me of all matters. And, I’ll admit, I am certainly intrigued to hear of any woman who has caught your attention.” I’ll admit further that the latter point was my attempt to bait him into an anticipated response, as I hoped he would respond to my apparent ignorance in a way that revealed some of _his_ hand to _me_. 

“Well then, my trusted friend, you should know that when I say I have no interest in the fairer sex and the fairer feelings that come along with them, I most certainly mean it!” He exclaimed this with a sort of final punctuation, as if alerting me that he was done with this line of questioning. 

I must admit that riling him up did give me a good burst of satisfaction and admiration, and with a small smile on my face, I settled back into the seat of the carriage and crossed my arms across my chest. 

“Hmm…” Holmes gave me a curious look as I made a thoughtful noise, and narrowed his eyes slightly, giving more attention to me than he previously had. “There’s simply one thing I don’t quite understand.” 

He gave me a sharp grin, “Now I am on more common territory.”

Ignoring his snipe, I continued. “It’s just that - and I say this simply because I know you and your methods, Holmes. It’s just that I’ve never seen you make an unfounded statement. So it struck me as odd that you would make such a severe assumption based off of something you’ve never experienced. Since you insist with a great deal of fervour that you’ve never loved a woman.” I tried to keep my tone light and teasing, urging my nerves not to falter, and also urging, silently pleading, for Holmes to see what I was speaking of between the lines. 

There was a long bout of silence, perhaps made longer by my nerves being at their wits end. I felt a faint blush creep up under my skin as Holmes regarded me silently, his face slightly stern. As I was about to change the subject, mortified that I had been wrong in my deductions, a small smile appeared on Holmes’ face, and he spoke first. “Well, I must admit that your line of questioning has a thread of logic to it. Though, I do not rescind my previous statement.” His gaze did not leave mine, and for a moment I felt that I might be dreaming, as foolish as it sounds. He continued, “Have you discovered what you were searching for?” 

“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth…” I murmured, returning his small smile. His own smile broadened, and his hand reached out for mine, gentle and firm, his thumb softly caressing the back of my hand. 

“Indeed, John, indeed.”


End file.
